have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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