That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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