she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You made out with two different species that night
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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