You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
