how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
