Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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