so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
