Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
