Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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