There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
