Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
