They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
