ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
