Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
