Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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