Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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