Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
