i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
