as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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