Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
