It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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