My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize