He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
