Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
