margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
