Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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