i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is wine microwaveable?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
