the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
