We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
