he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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