i already hear my dad disowning me
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
