were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
pray to the hookup gods
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I need water and some morals
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
