he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
