can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
