How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
