I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
