but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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