FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize