I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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