"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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