Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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