quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
