Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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