I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
