Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize