you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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