Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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