I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
All I want is dick and wine.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
