you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
