Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just had sex on a roof
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize