i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
