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my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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