i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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