please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
