You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
