He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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