I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
