some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
