grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
