Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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