just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
