big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize