i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
