To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
