I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize