turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
