i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
MIDGETS
????
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
