I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
