and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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