He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize